Today went a lot better today than yesterday. I was able to find some videos on YouTube to teach myself Exercise Physiology with. Thank goodness for the internet and helpful professors willing to post their knowledge online. I went for a longer run (3 miles) today but it wasn’t a good run. I had heartburn the whole time and about half a dozen dogs come run out at me (not at once). One of them scared me enough I yelled out. They didn’t appear to be very aggressive breeds and didn’t run after me after I passed them but slowing down to make sure you’re not going to be mauled by a dog isn’t really my idea of a good time. After the run I tried to put on my other running board. Rod bought them for me for my birthday before he left.
Went over to have dinner with Rod’s mom, Debe, and brother, Nick. There’s nothing quite like a home-cooked meal and a big piece of cake. While there, I heard from Rod and was able to webcam with him. That was the first time I’d seen him since he left last Monday.
One of the passages I’ve read in the last few days is one of my favorites. Matthew 6:25-34. The title is ‘Do Not Worry’ so you can imagine what it talks about. But the passage doesn’t just state, “do not worry”. It states that we should not worry because God will take care of us because we are more important to God than the birds of the air, whom he takes care of despite them not storing away their food. With Rod being gone, of course, my biggest worry is that he won’t come home. In my mind, I tell myself that I have faith and know that God CAN bring Rod home safe but He has also taken Christians home during deployment too. So my worry is, WILL God bring Rod home safe? Rod is not just my best friend, he and I are completely bound together. We are not good without each other and do not desire to be apart…even for a night. Knowing that spending the rest of my life without him is possible is certainly a sickening feeling but I don’t know how to give this to God. What if it is His Will? I would be okay physically but emotionally I would be dead. I’m sorry for being morbid but this is my biggest struggle right now. I don’t know how to turn to God about this. I know I should completely give this to Him…I’m just afraid of His answer. Please pray for me about this.
I don’t really have much else to say but it was one of the best birthdays I’ve had in years, aside from the fact that Rod wasn’t here. Thank you all for your birthday wishes. You all really made it a special day for me.
That’s all for now…M.